Well, it certainly has been a year we will never forget. All of us will look back on this time and experience different feelings and have different memories of the ways in which our lives were upended, but I hope that a little time and distance can offer us all some perspective. Dare I say that hindsight will be 20/20??? Sorry. I had to.
Maybe for some of you the situation is still too close to be able to reflect and appreciate this year for what it has offered. However pretty much since the beginning I’ve been grateful for what this year has brought our family. Everytime I hear of the hardships that others are facing, it has given me perspective on my own challenges. It’s all relative. While many lost their jobs, my husband’s business was able to not only survive, but thrive. While I wasn’t able to continue teaching yoga at my regular pace of 6-8 classes per week, I was still able to connect with my students in other ways and could offer 1-2 classes per week (even if sometimes it was just a recording). While I could no longer attend yoga classes with my teacher in the studio, I developed an incredible home practice and have learned more than I thought possible over the last 9 months through my own research on and off the mat. While many kids struggled with the transition to online learning in the spring, I was able to spend the time with them (and work with their amazing teachers) to help them succeed– even if that meant they weren’t attending live instruction sessions, and I became their teacher. We are privileged enough that I don’t *have* to work, and we have the time, money, and resources to continue to homeschool my youngest through the 2020-2021 year when the public school he attends has yet to provide any in person learning options.
Our family as a collective unit, falls somewhere on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in a place where we aren’t worried about the basic necessities of life and are able to focus on our mental and emotional well-being during this time of uncertainty. And believe me when I say we have all helped each other through the emotional turmoil that this year has brought. We have all, in our own individual ways, experienced some anxiety and depression. What this has done for us however, is teach us how to look deep within ourselves to see what it is that we truly need and figure out a way to meet that need in a productive and healthy manner. In more specific terms, we have dealt with the tantrums and the fits and the bad attitudes that seem to come out of nowhere and over the most trifling indiscretions. We have paused and reflected and found the root cause of these emotional outbursts (something usually related to Covid, or zoom school, or missing friends, or loss of a sense of control). We have all learned lessons and have new tools in our toolbox for handling all of these “big feelings” and we will carry those with us for the rest of our lives. No, I don’t appreciate being forced upon these lessons via a crash course due to a global pandemic, but we are building up our arsenal for the next major crisis. And perhaps that one won’t seem as intense because of all the work we put in over the last 9 months to repair and maintain our mental health.
We also learned how important stability and knowing what to expect are to our emotional state. In the beginning of lockdowns the rules changed every day, sometimes multiple times a day. No one knew what would happen next and we lived in a state of frozen panic. I personally found it very hard to make decisions or even consider long term planning (and I am a PLANNER!). We gradually learned to make choices for our family that would provide the least amount of variability or possibilty for change. Generally in life it is good to be flexible, but tiny changes in our expected day are one thing. Being asked to pivot 180 degrees multiple times per day is exhausting and not a sustainable way to live. We aren’t wired for that as humans. We absolutely pivoted innumerable times, but we also learned to control the degree to which we would have to alter our path.
I absolutely know that my family is privileged in so many ways, and that not everyone has had the same experience as us. I am indeed most grateful for that privilege every day and hope that my children are somewhat aware of their good fortune. I hope that they will look back on this time and remember all the new and interesting ways we tried to make the best of the situation. I hope they remember creative birthday parties, new (and perhaps lasting) holiday traditions and most of all, the time we got back. The time we got to spend together and slow down. The time we got to learn these lessons and grow together as individuals and as a family. We are stronger now than we were before and I wouldn’t take any of it back even if I could. I am glad to be welcoming in a new year, hopeful for all that is to come, and grateful for all that has been. Cheers to 2021.
