The word vinyasa in Sanskrit means, “to place in a special way.” In a typical yoga class most people think of the vinyasa as the movements from plank to chaturanga to cobra to downward facing dog. And in fact, that is one example of a vinyasa. It’s a transition and a way to move from one pose to another pose. If you’ve taken the Ashtanga Vinyasa Flow class with me, you know that the jump throughs and jump backs are also transitions — big ones! But transitions aren’t always huge, flowing movements to get you from point A to point B on your mat. They can be tiny and subtle adjustments. Tweaks and pivots and engagement of certain body parts.

The same thing is true off the mat. Not all transitions are huge life altering events like marriage, the birth of a child, or the pandemic.  We transition multiple times a day in small ways.  We make the transition from home life to work mode — maybe you have a commute where your brain has time to make that shift.  We transition from task to task either at home or at work.  Maybe you’ve spent a couple of hours doing some really deep work on a project.  You take a “brain” break when you just can’t look at it anymore, and perhaps use that time to prepare yourself to move a different direction and begin completing other tasks.   The best part about these transitions is that you know they are going to happen, and they happen on a regular basis. You can practice and tweak and adjust and get better at them!

For example, I absolutely LOATHE picking up the kids from school.  I literally dread it every day.  I even start to feel the knots building in my stomach at least 30 minutes before it’s about to happen.

No, it’s not because I don’t want to see my kids.  No it’s not because I don’t want to hear everything about their day.  It’s because the entire process is riddled with anxiety producing events.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  TIME.

I’m sure to many of you this sounds ridiculous.  What is so hard about walking two blocks to school to get your kids and then walking those same two blocks home??

Let’s break it down.  

Clearly I am an anxious person.  Part of this includes me NEEDING to be on time for everything.  Not a big deal really, and generally it just leads me to leave the house earlier than I really *have* to in order to arrive just a little bit ahead of schedule.

Well, now we have a dog.  A dog who needs to be walked at about the same time as school pick up every day.  And this particular dog is not great at walks.  He’s a pokey dog (especially in the heat), and generally wants to stop at every mailbox to sniff, eat a few blades of grass, maybe leave his mark.  He also gets distracted by people in their yards or driveways — he thinks they all have treats.  He is not simply distracted, he is also stubborn and LITERALLY refuses to move.  As in frozen. 65+ pounds of solid brick. I can usually get him going again by putting a treat in my hand and kind of teasing him with the smell.  But this is a process, and it’s not always successful immediately.  

Suffice it to say, these walks are not fast.  Nor are they predictable.  Nor can I guarantee that we will get to a certain spot at a specified time.  Some days are better than others.  But overall, these walk are not enjoyable for the person walking said dog who needs to get to school by 3:25!

And that’s just the “getting to school” part.  Trying to get there on time to alleviate that bit of anxiety coupled with a dog who has no understanding of that concept.

Most days we arrive on time.  Once I have both kids we then have to navigate the mess that is……bum bum BUM, “SCHOOL PICK UP!”  Okay, I’m being dramatic but there are a lot of people walking on the sidewalks (parents, siblings, students, strollers, teachers, other dogs, etc) and a LOT of cars.  There is the traffic circle for “car riders.”  The line for this is backed up almost to the main road, and generally blocks one lane of traffic on a major neighborhood throughway.  

Then there are the busses trying to make their way through said traffic, car and pedestrian.  

So, now I not only have said pokey, distractible, unpredictable dog, I also have my two kids who I am trying to keep from getting run over or lost in the shuffle of people.  AND everyone is talking.  AND both of my kids are having one sided conversations AT me, trying to tell me about their day.  All I can focus on is their safety and keeping the dog moving and they are trying to tell me 47 details about how they couldn’t eat their lunch vegetables because blah, blah, blah….

Fast forward to the crosswalk where there are safety patrols and a crossing guard assisting pedestrians and directing traffic.  This is helpful, but generally a cluster as well.  Once we cross the street away from the school we have reached an unbearable portion of road.  People are parked on both sides of the street.  There are no sidewalks.  And two way car traffic is IMPOSSIBLE — but don’t believe for a moment that people aren’t trying.  We always walk in the grass until we clear all of the nonsense.  But generally this seems to be a struggle also.  The kids are still trying to talk to me, and I’m still busy watching traffic and keeping the dog moving. 

Actually, just last week, even walking in the grass wasn’t enough of a precaution. A random car decided to do a three point turn to get out of the area and was backing up INTO the grass directly towards me, the kids, and the dog. I had to yank my son backwards by his backpack (and yell at the driver to get their attention through an open car window) to prevent disaster. Thankfully another driver in a parked car also witnessed what was happening and honked to get their attention as well.

Suffice it to say, this may in fact be my least favorite part of the day.

I also know that when and if we do make it home alive, I then still have the task of helping everyone get unpacked from school.  This also usually entails feeding them and getting them to do their homework before having to leave the house for some activity (also time dependent, and thus potentially anxiety inducing).  AND by this point in the day do you think my children want to follow any more instructions and be cooperative and helpful.  Of course not, they need to unload their entire day’s worth of emotions on me all within 30 seconds of walking in the door.

I think you get the point.  This is not my idea of a fun time. So what can I do about it?

I can start working on ways to ease this known and predictable, daily transition.

Picking up the kids from school every day is a given. And for me it’s rough.  And I KNOW that it’s going to be rough.  But becuase I know it’s going to happen, I can try to make things go a little more smoothly by preparing myself.  I have an alarm set on my phone to give me a 15 minute warning.  It reminds me to start turning my brain off from work mode, maybe even sit, close my eyes, and take a few breaths to calm my racing mind if it’s been a particularly busy day.  I try to use the walk TO school to help with that too.  Being outside and getting fresh air helps.  As long as I remind myself that the walk is for the dog and not me, some of his antics become more tolerable.  I also do whatever I can to be prepped for the evening activities so that I can be more present when the kids need to unleash *all* of their feelings at me once we are home.  

And maybe there’s even a bigger lesson here. Maybe if I start noticing those small bothersome transitions that are a pattern in my life, I can work to prepare for them. I can make small adjustments in my day to alleviate some of the “pain points” and perhaps make them a little smoother. If I can find some grace and ease in those little moments, then maybe, just maybe, the bigger transitions won’t seem like such great obstacles.