I originally wrote this as a facebook post on March 15th, 2020 –two days after what is still (at the writing of this post) the last day my kids were physically inside their school buildings. The last day my kids truly had “normal” social interactions with their friends. We have been making do and getting creative since then, trying to create some sort of new normal during this pandemic. But here we are, over nine months later, heading into the winter with no end in sight.
With Covid-19 cases on the rise, more restrictions being placed (or coming) AND the cold weather keeping us inside, I thought it might be a good time to reshare this post as a reminder to all of us, to keep an eye on our kids — especially the “strong” ones. Perhaps them even more. They will hold it all together until they break into a million pieces. And wouldn’t it be easier to prevent that, then try to put them all back together?
Caution: Long post ahead, but perhaps helpful for those of you now faced with the conundrum of spending (at least) the next two weeks at home with your children. Trying to simultaneously work from home AND provide them with educational materials/experiences AND manage to not all kill each other in the process.
First, I’ve heard from many parents already that your kids are crazy and there have been many meltdowns. As my husband pointed out, this isn’t even “day zero” yet. It’s the weekend. It’s T minus two days and counting.
Let’s all give each other (and our children!) a little latitude. We are facing a situation in our lives and society that most of us have never experienced before. We don’t know what’s coming next and for many of us it’s scary. Things are changing by the minute and it feels as if we have very little control over anything.
What do we do as adults when we are scared and feel like things are out of control and we are stressed out? Apparently we buy enough toilet paper and hand sanitizer for the rest of our lives. This “panic” shopping is an attempt to have SOME control over what is going on. It is how we are responding to our own fear.
Our kids are scared too. They just have terrible ways of showing it because they don’t have the emotional maturity to use their words. They have been hearing bits and pieces of the news and adult conversations, but they don’t understand what’s going on (and neither do we!). They also know that WE are stressed out, and that stresses them out.
And now, with one day notice they are told that they aren’t going to school for the next two weeks. Their world has been rocked, and instead of expressing their fears and concerns and worries with words, they are “panic buying toilet paper” by acting out (crying, fits, defiance, meltdowns, etc) to GET YOUR ATTENTION.
Talk to your children. LISTEN to your children. Ask them how they are feeling. Ask if they are worried about something (maybe they are scared that YOU will get the virus and die, or that THEY might catch it and die, or any other number of potentially irrational worries). Answer their questions and explain what is going on in terms they can understand.
Knowledge is power. EDUCATE them and give them back some sense of control over this situation, and maybe they’ll stop “panic buying toilet paper.”
