The 30 Days of gratitude challenge hasn’t been particularly difficult or taxing for me. I do spend a few more minutes each day actually writing down my thoughts. And I spend a few more minutes checking in on social media to read about what you all are grateful for. I am thoroughly enjoying finding small things to appreciate. The tiny moments where I can find joy in my day.
And if you believe it or not, my life actually seems more calm, even though I’m fairly certain I have the same responsibilities that I did 3 short weeks ago.
Honestly. I think I’ve been less stressed. So much so that there have even been days that are actually a little unsettling. Like eerily calm. I am so calm,and my brain isn’t on FIRE, that I feel like I’m “forgetting to do something.” Simply because I’m not running from task to task to task (physically or mentally). You know that feeling. Where you end the day and your mind is still reeling at the thoughts of what still remains on your to do list. When your brain is just constantly on fire trying to do 17 things at once and the interruptions just keep coming and somehow you end the day with more to do than you started with. When you live your life in that heightened state and suddenly you have a quiet mind it’s a little unnerving. Like you are forgetting to do something. Like you *should* be doing something, but you aren’t sure what it is.
Another benefit of this attitude of gratitude has been the ability to change my perspective quickly. When something hasn’t gone as planned I have been able to reframe the situation and find a way to appreciate the disruption, rather than getting upset. Seriously.
My daughter called from the school in the middle of the day, and in the middle of my yoga practice. This is sacred time. Uninterrupted, quiet, alone time for me — and necessary in order for me to be a nice person and good human.
I didn’t even recognize the number, but I checked the voicemail mid-practice anyway. She didn’t sound upset or tearful, but very calmly in the message said she needed me to bring her lunch because the menu at school had changed at the last minute and there wasn’t anything for her to eat.
Let me back up a moment to also say that she is vegetarian. Her heart is bigger than she is and can’t bear the thought of anyone (or anything) suffering because of her actions. She is such an empathetic and caring person that she (who LOVES meat) became vegetarian about a year ago.
And so, on this day she had planned to get school lunch, because the menu said there was a vegetarian option. However we all know things change by the minute and the school lunch menu isn’t immune to supply chain issues. Normally there is the option for a grilled cheese, every day. This isn’t her favorite, but she would have eaten it, if it had been available. It was not. She fairly quickly must have alerted the lunch monitor and even the head of the office staff got involved.
She of course allowed Charley to call me, and she also found something from the next day’s menu that Charley could eat. By the time I got to the school with a hastily thrown together lunch, Charley was waiting in the principal’s office trying to choke down the marinara cheese crunchers that the secretary found for her. Although, I have to admit they did not look appetizing — and she wouldn’t have chosen school lunch if that was what was going to be served. She looked at me with teary eyes when I walked in the room, and the worry began to melt away as she saw what I had brought for her. She was grateful.
And needless to say, I am grateful. Grateful that I have a flexible schedule. Grateful that I live 2 minutes from the school. Grateful that the school staff was incredibly supportive and respectful of my daughter’s choices and beliefs. Grateful that we learned this lesson before she is at a school too far away for me to bring her an alternative within her allotted lunch period.
No, I wasn’t thrilled to have my yoga practice interrupted. No, I wasn’t thrilled to have my highly coveted work time thrown off course. But those are truly minor details in the grand scheme of life. And it would have been MUCH more upsetting and/or traumatic to my daughter if I couldn’t help “rescue her” and save the day. And so I am grateful for it all.
Maybe there is something to this attitude of gratitude. And maybe after these 30 days I will continue the habit. And maybe I’ll have more days that feel like I’m “forgetting to do something.” And if I have enough of those days, maybe they won’t feel so unsettling and unnerving. Maybe that can become my new normal. A peaceful, calm, and settled mind, free from disturbances.
