As I may have mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been more present on social media over the last year.  I don’t enjoy putting myself out there, but it became a way to continue teaching during the pandemic, and although things are opening back up, I think the online teaching may be here to stay.

Because of all the extra time I now spend on facebook and instagram, I will admit that I get sucked into scrolling more often than I’d like.  And it’s through this mindless scrolling that I’ve discovered a new pet peeve.  Filters.  So many people use filters to touch up their image.  And not just “influencers” but every day, Joe Schmo, IRL friends.  

One of my friends actually touched up a photo of herself so much that her infant daughter (in the same picture) looked like a SUPER creepy doll.  It was disturbing to say the least.  I have other friends who touch up EVERY photo that they post — and I have to wonder why.  What is so wrong with an honest representation of your appearance?  Your true friends know what you look like in real life (and they love you for who you are — “flaws” and all), and strangers quite simply, just don’t care that you made yourself look 5-10 years younger, removed a few wrinkles, shaved off a few pounds, or whatever it was you were trying to “improve”

I’ll be honest here, I CAN understand the appeal.  When I first started teaching on zoom I found the “touch up appearance” feature.  I played around with it, and I’m pretty sure accidentally left it on for a few classes, but when I realized that it was still making my wrinkles magically disappear, and giving my face such a nice even tone, I had to shut it off.  It felt disingenuous.  It felt deceitful.  It felt like I was lying.

Which leads me to the other, figurative filter that we use.  We all do it at one time or another.  Put a smile on our face, and move through pleasantries and conversations, just to get through an event or a day.  It happens.  You wake up in a foul mood, the morning doesn’t go well, but maybe if you smile and try to “fake it til you make it” maybe you can salvage the day.  Some people do it as a coping mechanism to hide depression or anxiety.  Some people are just so good at it and do it so often, perhaps they aren’t even AWARE they are “putting on a face.”  Whatever the reason, it still bothers me.  I can usually see right through it.  And although I may not always know WHY someone is being inauthentic, I definitely get the sense that they are conflicted.  

I think what bothers me the most about it, is that it’s fake.  It feels like I’m being lied to or deceived.  I value honesty above all else, and I would much rather hear about your terrible day, or the thing you are truly concerned about, than have another blah conversation about how “well” things are going.  Not everything is sunshine and roses.  It’s okay.  You can let your guard down.  Take off your mask.  Be the real you.  And if you do that, maybe YOU will feel better.  It takes a lot of work to keep up appearances, and quite frankly it’s exhausting.  Maybe having that moment to be sad, or worried, or scared, or vulnerable will actually help.  Maybe sharing your concerns, just saying them outloud, could help lighten the load.

So in an effort to be more honest (with ourselves and with others) can we all just stop using filters — literally and figuratively?  Can we stop pretending and just be real?  It seems like a lot less work and certainly a better choice for our overall mental health.  

Stop using filters to alter your image to get that perfect Instragam pic.

Stop filtering your own personality.

Stop putting on that mask you use as your “public face.”  

Have real conversations.

Be your true, authentic self.  

Be okay with who YOU really are and let yourself shine.  

Own each and every part of your being.  

You are perfectly imperfect, and it’s beautiful.  

You are beautiful.

Just be you and that is enough.

#nofilter