Oftentimes at the beginning of a yoga class you are asked to set an intention. Perhaps it is for your day or your week. Maybe it’s simply to focus on your breath throughout the practice, stay present. Teachers may have various reasons for asking students to set an intention, but I like to incorporate it as a way to quickly allow the student to focus and hopefully remain present. I might remind them throughout the class (maybe in a challenging pose) to come back to that intention. WHY are you doing this? What is your purpose? I hope that the reminders are quick ways to bring them back to the here and now. If their mind has wandered, perhaps the gentle reminder helps them return to the present moment and re-focus.
This is not unlike what we must continually do for ourselves in our daily lives, off the mat. Intentions are not just goals. The goals are the “what,” and intentions are the “why.” The “how” also matters, but we’ll get to that in a bit. Right now let’s start with an easy example. For instance, this blog.
I started this blog about 5 months ago. My goal (the what) was to write one post per week. So far so good, but I can also see how this may not be sustainable, and that’s okay too. I really just wanted to practice writing (why) and have some platform that would force my hand a little, give me a little accountability. Note that my intention was not to have a certain number of readers, or comments, or likes or shares. I’m not trying to become internet famous or go viral. The goal was simply the number of posts and the intention was to practice writing. In the process, I’ve also had to share personal things about myself that I normally wouldn’t blast all over the internet; I’ve had to be a little vulnerable (SCARY–although let’s be real, how many people are actually reading this?). However, the unintended consequence has allowed for a great deal of personal growth and some wonderful conversations with old and new friends. Although the vulnerability wasn’t planned, it doesn’t conflict with my goal or my intention (or my personal values), and hence I press on, and allow the unintended result.
Here’s another fairly straightforward example: I started a yoga studio in my home. The goal AND the intention were to practice teaching yoga. I knew it would be difficult to teach at a studio as a brand new yoga teacher, and I didn’t want to lose the momentum I had right after training. The plan wasn’t to have a full-fledged studio in my basement forever, and so it was put together inexpensively and in ways that weren’t permanent changes to my home. It DID have the unintended consequence of altering my family life. For a little over a year (before Covid) my husband would pack up the kids and leave the house on Sunday mornings so that I could welcome students into a space that wouldn’t be interrupted by them screaming or running around overhead. This was absolutely not a desired consequence, and it wasn’t helping anyone in our family grow or change or become a better human. Thus, when in-person classes could no longer happen due to Covid, it was an easy choice to take down the studio. By that point I’d been teaching for over a year and had gotten PLENTY of practice–I had achieved the goal. Comfortable in my own teaching skills, having achieved the desired result from having the studio, and knowing the undesired complications it presented for my family, it was kind of a no-brainer. I knew I would still keep teaching, and I would find ways to serve my existing students, so I didn’t experience any internal conflict over the decision.
Now let’s get to a slightly more sticky situation. I’ve become more present on social media over the past year. Even as I write this, I am throwing up a little in my mouth.
Please consider that I’m an introvert, with anxiety, and again I’m not trying to be internet famous. However, I do want to share what I’ve learned. I do have a desire to teach. I think the increase in my posts was in direct relation to the decrease in the number of classes I was teaching due to the pandemic. So, here again the goal and the intention are the same: to teach and to share. That said, I also realize that this method of teaching and sharing is a more visual medium. I can see the posts that get more views and interactions and (go figure) it’s not the posts where all I do is write. I’ve got to grab your attention with an image. I have to put up pictures and videos. Now, I could put up random things I find on the web (and I do that too), but what gets the most attention are the pictures and videos of ME. Ugh. I’m working to let go of my own personal distaste for being “out there” because I do think it still serves its purpose. I’m trying to learn and grow as a person from this bit of conflict because at the moment I think it’s not causing any harm, and perhaps may be teaching me something. It’s definitely teaching me more about vulnerability…*sigh.*
Let’s pause for a moment on the idea of vulnerability in the world of social media. I spend more time on Instagram and Facebook than I would like, and a lot of that time is spent looking at what other yoga teachers are putting out there. What I have learned (quickly) is that it’s easy to tell when someone is being their true selves, being a little vulnerable, and putting themselves out there. Authentic. I’m drawn to these people; the people who are being REAL, and I try to learn from them. It’s also easy to tell when they are being fake. When they are simply putting up a beautiful image to get the likes and comments. Or sharing a humble brag. Or touting some dogma for the sake of selling you something (yoga pants, a workshop, membership, etc). I’d like to believe that the “fake” people have simply lost sight of their intentions. Perhaps they aren’t even AWARE yet that fame or money or likes or comments (and the dopamine hit from each of them) has become more important. Either that or they KNOW they have lost sight of their intentions, in which case they are experiencing some deep inner conflict. And honestly, when that’s the case it shows. They become inconsistent in “who” they appear to be. If you watch them closely enough, and pay attention, you’ll notice it too.
Anyway, I digress. Back to my own personal issues with social media and yoga. I try VERY hard to check myself when I’m posting an image. I regularly ask myself WHY I’m putting a picture or video up. What is the purpose? Will it teach someone something, will it be helpful? Sometimes the answer is yes, 100%. Sometimes it’s a little murky, but I post it anyway. Which leads me to my next point.
I want to be respectful of yoga as a tradition and where it came from. I *think* I have a deeper understanding than some (although I also feel like I don’t know nearly enough to try and teach it to others). Despite my imposter syndrome, I press on. My goal is to share what I DO know. My intention is to (hopefully) help other people on their own journeys. To possibly help relieve some suffering in the world. Where my conflict comes is in the how. I want to meet people where there are. Just like I can’t teach my daughter ANYTHING if she doesn’t want to hear it from me, I can’t force people to WANT to learn about anything other than physical poses. I can’t teach someone about the Yoga Sutras and get into a philosophical debate at their first yoga class, when they thought they were coming for some nice stretching. People have to be ready and willing to learn what you have to offer, you can’t just shove it down their throats. And so, you “have” to teach a physical practice and sneak in the other things in more subtle ways. If you do this for long enough, perhaps they stay and eventually they want to learn more. Maybe not. That is beyond my control.
And so, I am in conflict over meeting people where they are but ALSO my desire to honor yoga’s roots. It’s true nature. In my own daily practice I begin and end with an opening/closing prayer. It’s in sanskrit and it’s a way of paying homage and respecting those who passed down yoga as a tradition. I would LOVE to incorporate this in the classes that I teach. I have been on the brink of it many times. And then I second guess myself. Are my students ready for that? Will they run for the hills? Will I push them too far? Clearly I haven’t resolved this one and it lives in my head. It rests there between classes and I just don’t know what the “right” answer is. My intentions (teaching others and helping people) are in direct conflict with my own values (honoring yogas roots).
So what do you do when your intentions turn out to be in conflict with your values? In this very specific case, it is the how that is the problem. Do I change my methods? Do I start incorporating things into my classes that make ME feel better? What if my students aren’t ready — what if I lose students over it? Not only have I personally lost a student, but perhaps I have turned that person off from eventually learning more because I pushed too hard when they weren’t’ ready.
As always, I have more questions than answers. However I think having the awareness of the conflict is the first step. Once you admit to yourself that there is a misalignment between your actions and your purpose, you can begin to course-correct. Pause, take a moment, at that crossroads. Then, search for the path back to your true, authentic self. Once that happens your true intentions can manifest themselves into words and actions that are in line with your values and goals. And look out once you do that! You might just get everything you ever wanted…..
